This post is a companion to the YouTube video of the same name, to be posted by September 27, 2025, on my channel, link: @LastDaysDecodedJK. It will summarize the main ideas and provide links mentioned in the video (listed at the end of this post). Here’s the short form of the three main chapters of my life and my conversion to Christ and then to His restored church:
- IOWA School Girl: I grew up in the beating heart of the University of Iowa. I went to the “lab school” they ran to train teachers. So from first grade through twelfth grade, I was taught by the best graduate students they could find. These teachers not only used educational “best practices,” they were young and enthusiastic learners. I was taught how to learn, how to neither accept or reject an idea quickly but to keep studying it, as well as scrupulously quote my sources of either evidence for or against each one. But as wonderful as that experience was, I still sat in sixth grade and wondered: “Why don’t they teach us what we really need to know: Where we were before we were born, why are we here in this life, and what happens when we die? I later learned that these are considered pivotal questions in the spiritual life. Somewhere I must have heard them in premortality because no one in my world seemed to be religious. This was a wonderful place to grow up, and I’ve blogged about it in Like a River on my personal website. Here’s the LINK.
- NEW HAMPSHIRE Hippie: I married Pete in college and soon we were both working on graduate degrees: he in the famous Iowa Writers Workshop and I in education with a focus on reading instruction. We met a group of friends who were here from the University of New Hampshire getting graduate degrees from Iowa’s Art Department. After college we worked a year in Illinois and then sought adventure on the East Coast. We visited upstate New York and stopped to see these friends, now back in New Hampshire. One drive up the obscure highway from Peterborough to small town Stoddard immersed us in the true New Hampshire rural “magic” composed of the spirit of history and undisturbed nature that hung over these tiny colonial towns that were too far from the centers of employment surrounding them to attract suburban development. Here a picture that captures it, from www.alltrails.com:
While most of my experiences were a true feast of innocent nature at work, I did have a couple of encounters with what felt like evil spirits. Listen to my YouTube video to hear about them (link below).
We bought an old house, fixed it up, and had two children: Amanda and Peter. Sadly the marriage didn’t last, but our split was amicable and we cooperated in caring for them. I then sought out spiritual knowledge and experiences, learning astrology, going to meditation groups, and “asking the universe for answers to my questions” as I had no knowledge of or experience with prayer. I actually did receive images in my mind at least twice that proved to be good counsel. Then a counter-culture friend invited me to a Christian prayer group in our small town where I was asked if “I was saved.” I said I didn’t think so and what did that mean? I was told I only needed to get on my knees and pray to know if Jesus was the Christ, offer to embrace the life of a Christian in all sincerity, and I could get a direct witness from God.
I went home and did just that, kneeling down by my window sill and asked, “God, are you there? And is Jesus really who He’s said to be–our Savior?” I poured out my concerns for my children and lay down on my bed. Immediately, I was filled head to toe, and in every cell of my body, by the strongest and purest love I’d ever felt. It lasted two-three minutes and by then I was crying the ugly cry. I knew for myself the truth of Christianity and told everyone, including my mother in Iowa. She was a lifetime Latter-day Saint but was semi-inactive until my younger sister had a similar spiritual awakening and challenged my mother to “get with the program.” They activated two of my younger brothers, so now they saw me as their next project, sending me books to read. The third one, William Barrett’s The Restored Church was just what I needed: a textbook about the doctrine and history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It all made sense and felt familiar, but when I saw a picture of the Christus statue near the back, I heard these words in my head: “This is My work.” This was the beginning of my testimony.
Next, I had a dream about picking which train to get on from about four. Only one had its headlight on and engines idling. As soon as I got into the back, the train took off very fast. I dropped to my hands and knees and had to crawl forward through many empty cars to the locomotive. It was difficult pulling myself up into the engineer’s seat but I finally managed it. Then fiddling with the many dials and controls, I got a handle on how to operate this huge train. Next I had to open the hatch above my head and extend it up and through it. It didn’t take long but was dark, cold and a little scary, for some reason. Once my face emerged, I could see down the track by the light of the headlight, hear crickets and feel the warm summer night air blowing in my face. All the struggle to get there was worth it and I was literally exultant! Here’s the public domain image I found that gives the feeling I had of power and speed:
- UTAH Latter-day Saint: Cutting to the chase, I soon moved to Iowa to create a better life after assuring my ex-husband I would make every effort to support his contact with our children. I took the missionary discussions and was baptized in the Iowa City ward building on June 13, 1975. I had found the “right train” to get on. It was filled with the Light of God’s Spirit, and had its engines running on higher Melchizedek Priesthood power!
Soon after I moved to Salt Lake City and rented a duplex with this same sister as she was graduating from BYU. A year later, she was preparing to go on a mission and I qualified to receive my endowments, so together we went to the Salt Lake Temple on June 15, 1976. That year with her cemented my understanding of the Gospel and put me on the path of deeper commitment and faithfulness.
I was surrounded by wonderful members, co-workers and a good spiritual environment, but less wonderful spirits still did show up and attempt to derail my spiritual growth. But I was like Christ’s followers who almost all left after being fed with “fishes and loaves.” Christ asked His more faithful disciples, “Will ye also go away?” Simon Peter’s answer would also be my reply: “Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.” I had already tried to find eternal and absolute truth in both the academic and counter-culture worlds and had only found small pieces of it. When I found God, Christ, and their church, I knew I was home and wouldn’t find His truth anywhere else.
In my video, you might want to listen to how I discussed the change to I am a Child of God lyrics made by President Kimball years ago in I am a Child of God, from “teach me all that I must KNOW” to “all that I must DO.” I’ve heard many people add “all that I must BE” to that list as well. Think what qualities or actions would fit with each. None of them covers all areas of righteousness, and then check out my sister YouTube video of the same name, link HERE.
Finally, I quoted the experience of the real Maria von Trapp when she experienced a deeper conversion to Catholicism after a youthful trial of her faith. Here are the quotes I gave there:
As I look back on these solemn few hours, I know now what really happened in my soul. This priest was not only a famous theologian, a world-famous preacher sought after everywhere in German- and English-speaking countries, he also was a childlike, pious soul who really loved his Lord and Saviour.
When I was finally finished throwing things at him, he looked at me with such true compassion and genuine love. He made me understand how our Lord Jesus Christ had lived, died, and was crucified for me. Christ suffered His agony in Gethsemane and put up with all my aloofness and hardness of heart for only one reason—to win my love. He said it so simply and so convincingly that I was completely disarmed. And when he finally said, “Are you sorry now for what has happened? I could truthfully say, “Yes, Father.”
With this started a completely new life for me because now I was on the threshold of a new journey where Jesus, the Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, and our grown-up sisters and brothers, “the saints” had suddenly turned from fiction to fact, from legend to reality, and my heart was eager to learn. Once again God was back in my life.
(From Maria, the True Story of the Beloved Heroine of The Sound of Music, by Maria von Trapp. Good Source: www.bookfinder.com. Search “Maria” or full title above, author “von Trapp.”)
Reading Enos 1, Moroni 10:4-5, and James 1:5-8 can add to your understanding of how to receive personal revelation. Here’s the ending quote by Todd McLauchlin on aligning our will with God’s:
Todd McLauchlin on Spiritual Survival:
Our worthiness is really just a function of how much the Spirit of God flows in you. It’s His worthiness in you. Your heart has to be softened so that the remission of sins flows through you and becomes the new animating aspect of your being, and your will is now His and not yours. It’s the death of the old and it’s the birth of the new will.
(Do Veils of Unbelief Keep You from the Power of God? Spiritual Survival YouTube channel)
Finally, here are wonderful talks to add the advice and testimony of others to those above, as well as the link to my companion video on YouTube:
- Janet Kent, “Last Days Decoded” YouTube channel, “Come Unto Christ,” link: @LastDaysDecodedJK
- Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Always Have His Spirit, link HERE
- Sheri Dew, Will You Engage in the Wrestle?, BYU Devotional, link HERE
- Amy Wright, Thou Art the Christ, General Conference April 2025, link HERE
- Elder Bruce R. McConkie‘s last testimony, The Purifying Power of Gethsemane, General Conference April 1985, link HERE
- Todd Lauchlin, Do “Veils of Unbelief” keep you from the Power of God?, “Spiritual Survival” YouTube channel, link HERE
I testify that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His work, and that all good people will have the opportunity to live in the Millennium and continue to learn and progress. I also testify that the sacrifices needed to attain to that status and then to salvation, even exaltation in the eternal worlds beyond will seem puny and insignificant in the face of the stunning and magnificent blessings of eternal progression and increase God promises His most faithful followers. I hope to be worthy to be there and see you there as well!